For sure, this year has been the longest one I can remember since being thirteen.
As a kid, your years are broke up into school terms and school holidays. I had a fun mum and we did stuff every holidays, so I have a pretty good hold on what’s happened in my life. But, as a kid, a week can stretch out to feel like a month, especially if you’re the fat kid who’s rubbish at running and you want to avoid playing Sports on Friday.
Once I turned fourteen, my years became busier and seemed to fly. I had drama, youth group, church, radio announcing, boys and work to contend with. I would have weekends, but I also had a job, so this meant I was on the go usually seven days a week. It was tiring, but I loved it.
I realised something the other day, though. Once I was fourteen, things started to happen. I had best friends, and fights with friends over nothing, and boy dramas and not so secret crushes. I loved most of that time. I was intense, I was moody, angsty, busy, I loved everyone, I kept thinking I was madly in love when I actually wasn’t. You can’t be fourteen forever, though, which is just as well, because they can be painful to live with.
Last year was busy for me too. Natalie was just starting to do things other than look at me, I was doing a lot of Guide stuff, I had uni and I was doing lots of things. I was a bridesmaid, I had some counselling, I was damn tired, I tried to do a lot of things.
This year, a lot has happened. My Guiding role has changed so now I’m working from behind a computer screen as the publication princess. I’m writing my thesis for uni, which is self paced. I’ve also had a lot on the calendar. I have been part of three gym challenges this year (they run for two months at a time) and I got to gym five days a week. I like this life because there’s a lot of routine. Sundays is my only day of rest, and even then I had been very hesitant to drag myself out of bed for church. I need some sleep, you know. I have also been working freelance, and this takes up heaps of my time.
Despite all of the routine and self paced activities, this year has felt so long. It seems as if Natalie has always been the same age and ability level as she is now, only photos remind me that once she was little and couldn’t do anything. I might have seen more of my friends, and my friendship group is changing quite a lot. I feel a bit boring being a mum and housewifery lady, and editor on the side.
I don’t know too much about what next year holds. More of the same? Is life slowing down now, to a reasonable pace that I can deal with? I don’t know. I kind of hope so. On the other hand, I miss the flexibility and ability I used to have to flit between activities. I still have much of that energy, I just don’t have that endless teenage free time anymore. I kind of miss it.
Yeah, kind of.